Have you wondered how someone so caring, thoughtful and successful could be mistreating his wife or girlfriend? Does the thought of him hitting her, bullying, name calling, finding fault with every thing she does seem like she is talking about someone else? Is she really talking about the Director of a charity dedicated to helping the vulnerable? Is she really taking about the deacon who has been serving God for 20 years or the Pastor of the local church? Is she really talking about the Coach of the local football team or that friendly guy who always helps out his neighbours?

Domestic or spousal abuse is given that name because that is exactly what it is! An abuser has beliefs and attitudes about his intimate relationship that does not hold true for his other relationships. He can be perfectally friendly, tenative, understanding towards his mother or work colleagues then come home and batter his wife for not having the dinner on the table. He can give a perfectly lovely compliment to his mate’s wife and offer to help out at the church then go home and put down and critiize his wife for being an embarrassement and a lazy cow, then pull up his chair and refuse to cook, clean or help out with the kids.

He believes he has CEO status over his wife:

He controls her – it has the right to tell her where she goes and what she does

He is entitled to certain privileages and rights the she is not allowed to have

He thinks he owns her like his possession

So next time you hear a woman say her husband or boyfriend is abusing her and you know him and can’t quite believe he is like that…think again….

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